What Brought Me To Psychedelics? Trigger Alert

Good morning,

I just want to share a bit of how I came to psychedelics, but before I dive in, know that some of what I’m about to say is heavy – it’s raw and unfiltered. If you're not up for that today, that's totally okay. There's always the next newsletter where I'll get into the healing side of things.

For those of you that want to join me, you can watch the entire story on youtube. The abridged version is below.

So, here goes…

I found my way to psychedelics during a time when my life seemed golden on the outside – successful entrepreneur, TV appearances (I was on “Shark Tank”!), a great partner. But inside, I was haunted by a darkness rooted in my childhood, a trauma that I could never quite shake off.

It all came crashing down on me one day while I was riding my motorcycle. A panic attack gripped me so fiercely that I had to stop in the middle of an eight-lane highway because I was hyperventilating so much and about to pass out. It was in that moment when the floodgates opened – all the memories of childhood sexual abuse I had locked away were now front and center.

For the next two years, my life was a rollercoaster of panic attacks and anxiety. I wasn’t sure I would survive it because I had never felt anything like it before. It is an understatement to say that I have never felt that out of control before and I was fighting for my life. All of this was happening while I was going about my life and work and no one had any idea of what was going on for me. That is, no one except the woman I had just started seeing.

The relationship felt like a dream and a nightmare all at once. My new partner triggered every fear, every trauma response I had. I struggled to trust her, always bracing for betrayal, desperate for connection yet never believing it when it came. My partner became an unwitting lead actor in my trauma play, cast as the villain when she was anything but.

When you’re a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and the child of parents who were emotionally distant, who used the silent treatment for punishment and a four-inch belt for discipline, you quickly learned to keep your mouth shut even when you were being violated because you knew there was no one to tell and no one to save you.

You take the lessons you learned from that experience into your adult life and start acting out in your relationships. You see everything through the eyes of a child that has been harmed and can rarely activate your adult self so that you can operate in a more rational, regulate way.

You see everyone as a potential threat, constantly looking for ways to run and hide emotionally, you keep silent about your needs, and you communicate in ways that are destructive. You turn yourself into an island and blame everyone for not being able to meet your needs.

It’s the surest path to the end of a relationship but I hit the lottery when it comes to partners because mine is well versed in how trauma manifests in relationships and as a result, she has stayed, understood, and showed me a patience I never knew I needed. She exercised that patience for more than seven years as I made my way out of the rabbit hole and back to life again.

Throughout my journey, I came close to the edge, contemplating the darkest escape. But I didn't take that step. Instead, I turned to psychedelics, hoping for a way out of the pain.

And that's the story for next time. I'll tell you how psychedelics opened a door I didn’t know existed and led me out the other side of my trauma.

Until then, I want you to know that no matter how much pain and suffering you’re experiencing right now, I can tell you with absolutely certainty that it IS possible to feel better and one day, you will tell your own story. No matter what, do NOT give up, relief is out there.

If you want to read the complete version of my story, you can find it at medium.com/

Whether you decide that psychedelics or microdosing or breathwork or yoga or talk therapy or something else is right for you, know that there IS an approach that is going to work for you.

The most important thing is that you be able to safely explore the different options. What I mean by “safely” is that you feel safe emotionally because that’s all that matters. Also, so you know, I know what all of this feels like and I want you to know that I am holding space for you in this process of discovery. I always remain available to answer any questions.

In solidarity,

Arlene

Arlene Battishill, Ph.D.
Founder, Psychedelics for Success
Self-Care Through Psychedelics

So, that brings us to a close for today. If you’re looking for help or additional information, here’s here’s how we can help you.

🎙️ Put your brand in front of 47k people who are exploring the use of psychedelics by sponsoring Self-Care Through Psychedelics. Book an ad.

☎️ Schedule a FREE 15-minute call with me to answer any questions or discuss your journey. Schedule now.

📧 Need something else? Reply to this email. (We read every response.

Subscribe to our youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/@PsychedelicsforSuccess

Have you joined our private facebook group “Your Psychedelic Journey Within: Embracing Inner Exploration and Healing” at https://www.facebook.com/groups/yourpsychedelicjourneywithin

“Your Psychedelic Journey Within” is more than just a resource: it’s a community where preparation meets real-life experiences. It’s an environment where stories of transformation and achievement through psychedelics inspire and guide those aiming to explore psychedelics as a potential path to healing and transformation.